It’s time once more for A-Zoo. A weekly segment where I impart my VAST knowledge of the animal kingdom to the social media generation, using the power of GIF.
Today, we’ll be exploring the ‘cockatoo’.
Cockatoos, despite their name, have absolutely no relation whatsoever to the mixed-breed dog, the ‘cockapoo’. And if anyone says otherwise, they’re a cockaliar. Cockatoos are, in fact, birds. If you’ve never seen a bird before just imagine a bread roll wrapped up in a feather boa flying about the room, squawking.
The interesting thing about cockatoos, as the name might suggest, is their two-pronged approach to genitalia. Normally, males have just the one (or none if they’re a eunuch). But these flighty bad-boys have double the fun!
Now, I’ve never actually seen a cockatoo’s ‘ding-a-ling’. Why would someone make it up though? What’s to be gained? I’m certain the British tabloids had nothing to do with naming them – that job goes to scientists. And they haven’t got it in ‘em to lie. I learnt that the hard way after a disappointing weekend bird watching for blue tits as a kid.
Anyway, regardless of their impressive peckers downstairs, it’s sadly ironic that cockatoos will NEVER know love. Because female cockatoos are just as impressive, with their own two love sticks!!
What was God thinking? All the gear and no idea. I’m surprised cockatoos have managed to live this long. Imagine the frustration… no wonder they look so angry.
Next week: DRAGONS. Ok well maybe just a Dragonfly animated gif
by Jack Purling