It’s A-Zoo O’clock. [DISCLAIMER: Don’t use A-Zoo as any sort of timescale, you’ll be consistently late.]
Our animal this week is the only edible animal in the world. Today, we explore the jellyfish.
Jellyfish are a unique sort of animal, as the name suggests, their bodies are made entirely of popular food stuffs – jelly.
Old fishermen tales suggest that ‘The Titanic’ was carrying 100 metric tonnes of jelly mixture and a mysterious experimental serum simply called ‘serum x-26583 bc/hts92-69’. When the ship sank the jelly formed in the cool water, the experimental serum somehow gave the jelly sentience.
Their hobbies include floating; chilling; not doing much; just letting the current take them away; drifting in waves and stinging unsuspecting idiots pratting about in the sea. The sea is a dangerous place, there’s no police in the sea.
Despite being made of jelly, the tentacles will give you a cracking sting, this is due to all the hypodermic needles discarded in the sea after the whales get their flu jabs. It takes nearly 50 needles to immunise whales, so after the needles get stuck in the jellyfish’s sticky wibblers (This is a technical term for tentacles). The sting is a combination of the needle jabbing into your flesh and a bit of whale flu.
Remember kids, if a Jellyfish ever offers to sting you. JUST SAY NO